If you have a loved one who is in recovery from addiction – whether related to alcohol, drugs, gambling, or another substance or behavior – it can be hard to determine the best ways to support them on their recovery journey. You want to play a positive role in their recovery, but how do you balance providing love and support without unintentionally enabling them or even being too stern? Here are some tips on how to navigate your role in their recovery and help your loved one stay on a positive path forward.

Start by understanding how their addiction may impact you

When you love someone who struggles with addiction, it’s easy to focus only on them and their recovery, but how their behavior impacts you is also important to the process and your future relationship with them. Consider groups like Al-Anon, which provides support for people who are close to someone who is overusing alcohol. Therapists or counselors who specialize in addiction can also provide advice and support as you navigate how best to support your loved one. 

Family support groups and therapists can also help you better understand your loved one’s addiction and what might trigger them. Many people with substance use disorders are trying to deal with challenges through self-medication. Understanding what prompts your loved one to turn to addictive behaviors can help you steer them toward healthier coping mechanisms, such as professional counseling, meditation, exercise, and more. 

‍Remove temptations from your loved one’s home — and yours

Help your loved one get all substances out of their home, and remove or hide any tempting substances in your own home. If compulsive gambling is the primary concern, help them install software that blocks betting and gambling websites. Have a conversation with your loved one about whether their roommates or close friends are helping or hurting their recovery process. If people they interact with often are engaging in behavior that could trigger or tempt their addiction, you may want to help your loved one find a new housing situation or work to gain a more supportive friend group. 

Set and maintain clear, strict boundaries

When someone you love has a problem with drugs, it is common to want to shield them from the consequences of their addiction. And while it might feel like you’re being supportive, this behavior can actually enable their addiction further. Instead it is often necessary to hold your loved one accountable, as difficult as it may be, for their actions by establishing limits or boundaries for what is and isn’t acceptable behavior. Some examples of healthy boundaries include:

• Don’t allow alcohol or drug use in your home or let them come into your home or join gatherings after they’ve been using.
• Insist on respectful communication and do not tolerate abusive or aggressive behavior.
• Don’t lie to help get them out of trouble or cover for them when they miss work or school.
• Refuse to give them money to pay off debts or cover legal expenses if they’re arrested.
• Avoid doing things for them that they’re capable of doing themselves or taking over responsibilities they’ve neglected.

Establishing effective boundaries comes down to defining what behaviors you will and will not tolerate. Communicate these boundaries clearly and stick to them consistently. However, if they start avoiding you because of these boundaries and you’re concerned they’re in crisis, try checking on them,reaching out to their friends, or calling 911 if you can’t reach them for an extended period of time. 

Help them manage their money to help manage their addiction 

While your loved one navigates recovery, there may be some things you want to pay for, including rehab fees, groceries, doctor visits, or new clothes. But you also don’t want to give them money that could end up being used to support their addiction. That’s why it’s often a good idea to pay for these types of essentials directly and avoid giving them cash. 

When it comes to your loved one’s money, it’s important to discuss how they may want to manage their personal finances during recovery, and offer to help them set up some financial boundaries for themselves. You may want to help by encouraging them to let you hold on to their existing credit and debit cards, and offer an alternative, such as the True Link Visa® Prepaid Card, for them to spend in a responsible manner. With this Visa card they can still make purchases on their own, but you can set up various spending rules to block purchases at specific stores or at categories of merchants, such as liquor stores or bars, and even block access to cash at ATMs or through cash back. And by reviewing transactions in the True Link Spending Monitor you can keep an eye out for any concerning behaviors or trends, and get real-time alerts when they attempt any transactions that are labeled as blocked, make large purchases, or any time they use the Visa card at all. Here is some more information on how True Link could help manage finances of those in recovery. 

As your loved one gains a stronger footing in their recovery, you may consider loosening some of their spending restrictions and adapt your other boundaries to show support and reflect their progress. As always, supporting a loved one on their recovery journey is not a clear path and there will be ups and downs. But by being educated on what they may be going through and being committed to a foundational plan, you can help support them as best as you can and ensure that you are equipped to help them navigate their turbulent times.

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This article is not intended to provide medical, financial, tax, or legal advice. Before making health or medical decisions, you should consult appropriate medical professionals regarding your specific situation. Before making decisions involving financial, legal, tax or accounting concerns, you should consult appropriate professionals regarding your specific situation.

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